Short Term
by isis-sg1
Summary: a broken device does something to John, and everyone else has to deal with the humorous consequences


John Sheppard slowly opened his eyes to find his team in addition to Carson and Elizabeth peering over his bed all wearing similar concerned expressions.

"Hey." He looked around and raised an eyebrow. The room looked suspiciously like the infirmary and his clothes looked suspiciously like scrubs. He groaned, "What happened?"

"You don't remember?" Elizabeth asked, concerned.

"Sure," he nodded. "I'm just testing to see if you remember." Elizabeth smirked in response.

Rodney rolled his eyes, "I was running a diagnostic on a piece of technology, you came into the room and a beam of energy shot out and hit you in the head."

"Really?" Sheppard asked. "Hmm…I don't remember that at all."

"How are you feeling son?" Carson asked, his perfect bedside manner in place.

"Peachy," John replied honestly. Carson pushed to the front of the crowd and shined a light in John's eyes.

John flinched, "Hey, not so bright Doc."

"Sorry," Carson apologised. "No headaches, dizziness, confusion?"

John shook his head, "Nope, I feel A-OK. When can I get out of here?"

"Did you not here me?" Rodney asked. "A bolt of energy hit you on the head, you

flew across the room like a rag doll!"

"I'd like to keep you here for a while Colonel, just to run a few tests and make sure it didn't do any damage," Carson tried to smooth over the situation.

Rodney snorted, "Any more damage you mean."

"Come on Doc, I feel fine."

"I don't care Colonel, you will stay here and until I say otherwise," he said firmly. Sheppard frowned and ran his fingers through his unruly hair in frustration. "And don't try anything, or I'll give Ronon babysitting duties."

John narrowed his eyes, "You wouldn't."

"Try me," Carson finished before turning to everyone else. "Okay, the Colonel needs his rest."

"No _he_ doesn't," John interrupted.

Carson ignored him. "You can all come back later once I've finished the tests."

"Rodney, can you get back and find out what that machine is supposed to do?" Elizabeth asked as they moved away from the bed.

Rodney sighed, "Already on it, wouldn't want our 'favourite Colonel' melting or turning purple. Not like I didn't have 50 other things to be doing. Tuning long range sensors, cataloguing new technologies, fixing Zelenka's work…"

"Hey!" The group stopped and turned back towards John. "What am I doing in the infirmary?" he asked. The group looked worriedly at each other. Elizabeth took a step forward.

"You don't remember?" she asked in confusion.

"Sure," he nodded. "I'm just testing to see if you remember." The group frowned at him. "Seriously," he began, "how'd I end up in here?"

Elizabeth turned to Beckett for an explanation "Carson?"

He shook his head, "I haven't the foggiest idea."

John blinked. "What?" he asked them,baffled as to why they all looked so concerned.

"I just told you how you ended up in here," Rodney explained slowly.

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did."

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did."

"I think I would remember that."

"Yes, you'd think so wouldn't you?"

John looked at Elizabeth. "What's going on?"

"We just covered this. You were brought here unconscious, an ancient device shot you with something," Elizabeth explained.

"It did?"

"Yes Colonel," Carson took another step forward "And it seems to have created a very interesting side effect."

"What did?" He asked.

"The device," Carson answered.

John frowned, "What device?" Carson sighed. Behind him he heard a deep chuckle and he looked round to see Ronon standing straight, arms crossed with a smile on his face.

"What?" he asked. "It's funny," Ronon defended.

"What's funny?" John asked.

"Colonel?" Carson began "Do you know who we all are?"

"Carson, Ronon, Teyla, Elizabeth and Pain in the Ass."

"Hey!" Rodney cried in indignation.

Carson smiled, "Close enough, where are you right now?"

"Atlantis, Pegasus Galaxy, AKA wraith central."

"What am I deathly allergic to?" Rodney asked before Carson could get in another question.

"Citrus, what's with all the questions?"

"Just testing your long term memory Colonel," Carson explained.

"Why?...And what on earth am I doing in the infirmary?"

"Rodney, machine, now!" Elizabeth ordered.

"Kelly," Carson called the nurse over. "Let's do an MRI scan, I want to know what's going on inside that brain of his."

Rodney snorted, "What brain?" He remarked as he walked out the infirmary.

"Well," Elizabeth smiled "We'll leave him with you." Teyla, Ronan and Elizabeth began to make a run for it.

"What?" Carson exclaimed "But-" he sighed as they disappeared out the door and turned back to John. "Looks like it's just me and you then."

"What am I doing here?" John asked.

"Elizabeth," Carson exclaimed as he burst into her office. She looked up at the exasperated man in front of her. "I can't do it anymore" He shook his head and dropped wearily into the nearest chair.

"Is the colonel testing your patience?" she asked with an amused smirk.

"Tested and failed," Carson replied. "I came close to sedating the poor man more than once."

"Where is he now?"

"I handed him over to Teyla, hopefully her patience will last a little longer than mine."

"She spends most of her time with three men who frequently act like children, I think she can manage."

"Has Rodney found anything yet?" Carson asked.

Elizabeth shook her head, "Every time I call for an update he tells me I'm interrupting important work."

Carson rolled his eyes, "Of course."

The pair looked up as Rodney burst through the door. "Speak of the sarcastic egotistical devil," Carson muttered.

"Does no one knock anymore?" Elizabeth asked.

Rodney looked up from his computer. "Huh?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "Have you found something?"

"I have good news and bad news."

"That seems par for the course when dealing with ancient technology," she commented wryly. "Give me the good news first."

With a scowl Rodney relayed his findings, "Good news is, it's only temporary, bad news is, _we_ have to put up with his abysmal short term memory until it wears off."

"What did the device do to him?"

"Well it was designed to temporarily give someone better long term memory and more space to hold information in the brain. Clever idea, but after 10000 years the device wasn't exactly working the way it should and short circuited Sheppard's brain."

"Are you sure it's temporary?" Carson asked.

"As sure as I know that medicine isn't a proper science," Rodney retorted.

"Okay," Elizabeth intervened quickly. "How long are we talking?"

"How long is a piece of string?" Rodney replied.

Elizabeth frowned, "That doesn't help."

"Well I don't know," Rodney exclaimed. "Could be anywhere from a day to a year!"

"The Colonel can't lead his team in that condition," Elizabeth expressed the concern that was racing through each of their minds.

"How'd we get here?" John asked as they entered the mess hall.

"We walked here from the infirmary," Teyla responded patiently.

"Really? What were we doing there?"

"A device-" she began.

"You got hit on the head," Ronon interrupted. He wasn't as patient and had listened to Teyla explain why John was in the infirmary four times since leaving it. He'd joined Teyla in looking after John purely for the entertainment value, but had now decided it definitely wasn't entertaining.

"I did?" John lifted a hand to his head to search for injuries.

"Shall we get some food?" she asked.

"I'm starved." Ronon pushed past them and moved to the counter where all the food was laid out. He grabbed a plate and began piling it high with every item being offered.

John and Teyla followed and grabbed their own plates of food before joining Ronon at a table. John looked down at his food.

"Damn, forgot to get a knife and fork." He stood up and went back to the counter. A second later he reappeared with his knife and fork, and a second plate of food.

"What's the second plate for?" Ronon asked through a mouthful of food.

John looked at the plate in his hand and then down at the plate on the table and frowned. "Don't remember getting that plate," he said.

"I'll take it." Ronon pulled the plate across the table and piled the food onto his own. John shrugged and sat back in his place.

"Hey Colonel." Lorne walked over to the table. "How are you feeling?"

John turned to his second in command. "I'm feeling fine, why'd you ask?"

Ronon smiled and whispered to Teyla as John was distracted talking with Lorne. "Watch this," he said as he took John's knife and fork and hid them under the table. John turned back around as Lorne disappeared to get his own food and frowned. "Damn, forgot to get a knife and fork." He stood up and went up to the counter again.

Teyla glared at Ronon as he tried to contain his laughter. "It is not funny Ronon," she reprimanded.

John walked back to the table with his cutlery and another plate of food. "I could get used to this," Ronon said as John frowned in confusion at his two plates. "I'll take it." He pulled John's second plate of food towards his own and piled it onto the rest, turning the food into a mountain of mashed potatoes, meat and gravy.

"Are you planning on eating all of that?" Teyla asked in disbelief.

"Sure," Ronon said as he dug in "Gotta leave room for the three puddings I'm going to get off him."

"I feel like I'm losing my mind!" John exclaimed as he fiddled with a bit of wiring in Rodney's lab. Teyla and Ronon had disappeared soon after lunch to spar, not that John remembered where they had disappeared to. Rodney had already stopped him twice from going off for lunch.

"That's because you are," Rodney replied, too distracted by his work.

Silence filled the room as Rodney worked and John lost himself in his thoughts.

"Rodney?" John asked a couple of minutes later.

"Hmm?"

"I feel like I'm losing my mind."

"That's because you are."

"Hey John?" a third voice called from the doorway. John looked up and smiled as he saw Elizabeth standing there. "Do you ever feel like you're losing your mind?" she asked, trying to hide a smile.

"Yeah, now that you mention it," John nodded.

Rodney looked up from his laptop and frowned. "Don't play with him."

"I'm sorry, thought you'd be the first to take advantage of his situation."

"And what happens when his memory is back to normal and he finds out?"

Elizabeth winced, "Didn't think about that."

"I feel like I'm losing my mind," John interrupted.

"That's because you are," Rodney replied quickly.

"You've been very patient with him," Elizabeth noted.

Rodney shrugged, "I had an uncle with early-onset dementia, you actually get used to it after a while." He turned back to his computer and continued working.

"Have you found anything else out? A way to fix the problem?"

"What problem?" John asked. "Anything I can help with?"

Rodney and Elizabeth ignored him. "The device is broken, if it was in full working order I _might_ have been able to fix him," Rodney relayed with irritation.

"Fix who?"

"Is there nothing on the ancient database about it?"

"Only the basics, the technical information on the device is corrupted."

Elizabeth tilted her head to one side and pondered out loud, "What if it the device never worked in the first place?"

"What device?" John asked. Elizabeth took a deep breath and tried to contain her frustration with the Colonel. "Will someone please tell me what's going on before I lose my mind?" John cried.

"It's like going round in circles isn't it?" Rodney remarked with a shake of his head.

"How is he doing?" Elizabeth asked Heightmeyer. She had suggested daily sessions with the psychologist in hope that it would help speed up John's recovery. John had been resistant at first; not knowing why he had to see Heightmeyer, but after it was explained to him for the tenth time he reluctantly agreed.

"Good," Heightmeyer nodded. "We've been practising some techniques to help with memory problems. They should increase his short term memory skills and hopefully speed up the healing process."

Elizabeth crossed her arms and watched John across the room. "How's he coping with all this?"

Heightmeyer gave a slight shrug. "Hard to tell," she replied "When he's oblivious to the situation he seems to be dealing fine and then when he's reminded of his problem he gets frustrated and angry that he can't remember anything."

"So we shouldn't remind him?"

"Not at all, we need to keep his brain as active as possible, if we let him go on as he is his brain will slow down and then the recovery process will take longer. The more we remind him of what he's forgotten, the harder he'll work to remember."

Elizabeth nodded. "John?" she called.

He looked up at her and frowned. "When did you get here?" he asked, standing up and joining her by the door.

"A couple of minutes ago," she answered patiently. "Want to go for a coffee?"

"Sure," he nodded in return to her question. The pair walked down the Atlantis corridors in a companionable silence until John stopped suddenly in the middle of the hallway. It took Elizabeth a second to realise that he had stopped and she turned and walked back towards him.

"John?" she called.

He was looking around with a confused expression on his face. "I…I don't remember where I'm going," he explained.

"That's okay." Elizabeth linked their arms together and began to pull him down the hallway towards the mess hall. "I do."

Elizabeth stepped out into the corridor and instantly stepped back to avoid being run over by Sheppard.

He whizzed past her on his skateboard. "Sorry!" he shouted. He put a foot down to stop himself and pivoted on the spot, smiling. "Didn't see you there!"

"Just be careful next time!" Elizabeth shouted down the corridor as he sped off.

"How much to do you want to bet he'll be in the infirmary by the end of the day," a voice commented dryly from behind her.

Elizabeth turned and greeted McKay. "He's looking a lot better," she observed. The pair walked side by side down the corridor toward the control room.

"Well he's not making people want to murder him anymore." Elizabeth laughed at Rodney's explanation. "He still forgets the odd thing, had to remind him three times yesterday about that meeting."

"Three times?"

"It's a reprieve," Mckay replied. "Two weeks ago I reminded him twelve times about the morning briefing."

"He'll soon be back to normal."

McKay snorted, "He was never normal."

"Well then, as normal as John can get," she corrected.

"Carson's been giving him a memory test every week."

Elizabeth nodded, "He told me."

"And he's still seeing Heightmeyer."

"As his memory returns the task of getting him to Heightmeyer's office has become more and more impossible."

"You didn't expect it to be easy did you?"

"I guess not." The main doors slid open and Elizabeth and Rodney stepped out of the quiet corridor and into the large control room and the bustling noise of scientists hard at work. "If he continues recovering at this speed I'm willing to consider putting him back on full duty in a couple of weeks."

Rodney opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted when Sheppard came speeding through the opposite door, his board skidding to an abrupt halt and sending Sheppard flying before landing flat on his face. "Not soon enough," Rodney said as his jaw dropped.

Sheppard slowly turned over onto his back and groaned. "Ouch."

Elizabeth sighed and shook her head. She tapped her radio, "Carson, please come to the control room."

"How's your ankle doing?" Elizabeth asked as she descended the main stairway in the control room.

"Huh?"

"Your hurt ankle?"

"I hurt my ankle?" Sheppard asked innocently.

Elizabeth's eyes widened "Oh no, please don't tell me-"

John laughed casually. "Relax, I'm playing with you, the ankle's fine," he said, ignoring the glare Elizabeth was ending his way. He laughed harder, leaning both hands on the gun clipped to his vest. The weight of the P-90 felt nice against his chest, He'd felt naked the last month without any protection. John shifted his weight from one foot to the other, excited about the upcoming mission. It had been too long and he was glad to be cleared for active duty.

"Not funny," she told him, lightly slapping him on the shoulder and trying to keep the amusement from her voice. "Did it teach you not to speed down Atlantis corridors like road runner?"

Sheppard smiled at her questioning glance, "I'll certainly think hard about not doing it before I go ahead and do it anyway."

Elizabeth opened her mouth to argue but thought better of it. "It's a start," she sighed.

Elizabeth and John turned as the nearest door lid open and Teyla and Ronan slipped through the entrance, both ready for the mission. "Hey guys," Sheppard greeted them. "Where's McKay?"

"Last I saw him he was still working on that device," Ronon answered

"Still trying to do the impossible? When will he learn that the machine never worked? I think I'm proof enough of that," Sheppard said. He tapped his radio, "McKay, put down the computer and join us in the gate room." When he received no answer he repeated the order.

"Who's McKay?...And where on Earth am I?" Rodney replied through his radio. Sheppard's eyes widened and he turned to his team. "This is not good."

Ronon stuck his hands in his pockets. "More meals for me," he shrugged.


End file.
